The end of expectations . . .
When your baby spends 127 days in the NICU, life is definitely crazy, Ashley explained. “It would be the middle of the night and I’d be home, pumping milk for MJ (short for Mathew Jr.). I’d call the NICU and ask how MJ was doing. That was my life, crazy.”
When Ashley was expecting her second baby, doctors were watching her blood pressure closely. At 20 weeks pregnant, they started asking for more tests. “They didn’t really voice their concerns so I mostly felt annoyed that they kept asking me to come back for repeat scans.”
Then during a routine appointment when Ashley was 26 weeks pregnant, they sent her to the ER because her blood pressure was too high. This was not how Ashley pictured her day going. She expected a regular appointment. Then she planned to head off to her job at a nonprofit serving vulnerable seniors. Instead, she was shocked when doctors told her that she needed to be admitted to the hospital. The new plan was to keep her and her baby safe with an extended hospital stay. Then they would have her deliver at 34 weeks.
What would this mean for her baby? And what about eighteen-month-old Bailey at home? Who was going to take care of her? “Obviously I was freaking out. I called my husband completely distraught. That was the end of my expectation for a normal pregnancy.”
A good sign . . .
The doctors were very worried about Ashley’s health. Her blood pressure was dangerously elevated and starting to impact her organs. And while the doctors originally hoped that the pregnancy could continue until 34 weeks, just one week later they determined that little MJ needed to come into the world – immediately!
And so, on March 6th at 4:18 PM, Mathew Jr. was born, weighing 1 lb. 6.6 oz.
“I couldn’t see him for 24 hours, but I heard him cry when he was born. That felt like a good sign . . .”
Pumping milk, a vital medical resource . . .
At the doctor’s suggestion, Ashley, still in the recovery room, started pumping right away. Doctors told her how important it would be for MJ to have her milk. They explained the health benefits and the crucial importance for very early and low birthweight babies. The majority of hospital NICUs exclusively provide human milk to babies born very preterm in an effort to prevent necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC). NEC is a leading cause of death for premature babies after two weeks or more postpartum.
MJ exemplifies babies who rely on donor milk. Babies who arrive into the world early and tiny. Life is precarious for these little ones. And human milk is a vital medical resource for them if mom’s own milk is not available.
MJ received donor milk from Mothers’ Milk Bank Northeast for his first couple of days, while Ashley kept pumping milk to build up her supply. Milk supply is often slow to develop after a preterm birth. Fortunately, Ashley was eventually able to provide more than enough milk for MJ herself.
It helped that the doctors and nurses were very encouraging of Ashley’s breastfeeding goals. They gave her a hospital grade pump to use. And she was able to store her milk in the NICU milk room. Yes, NICU’s have milk rooms. That’s how important human milk is for medically fragile babies!
Paying it forward – pumping milk and making miracles
Before long the milk room staff were laughing with Ashley about just how much milk she had. So much milk that she and her husband bought a chest freezer to store the extra at home. But Ashley soon realized she was producing a lot more milk than MJ could use. And that’s when she remembered learning about milk donation from one of the NICU personnel.
“I called the phone number, and they made it seem so easy. It was so easy. During that time, I felt helpless but being able to donate my milk gave me a sense of control. I’ve always loved helping people. This was another way to do that.”
More specifically, Ashley was helping other families with tiny babies their own. Babies who need donor milk to protect their health and reach important milestones. She offered support to families who were scared, overwhelmed, and incredibly grateful to be part of a community of moms sharing this life-affirming gift.
“I felt proud. I would count the ounces as I was packing them in the boxes to send. I did this! I took pictures and sent them to my friends and family. It was really rewarding.”
A fragile beauty . . .
Today, MJ is not quite two years old. He’s walking, starting to talk, and making huge progress. His biggest obstacles remain around feeding. It’s getting easier but he still needs support around swallowing and receives some nutrition through a G-tube (gastronomy tube) that channels it directly into his stomach.
Perhaps there is something especially significant then about Ashley’s gift of nutrition that went to so many babies. Babies like hers who had a complicated start in life. These little ones remind us how fragile life can be – and just how valuable the gift of milk can be for the tiniest among us.
Start something new this year . . .
At Mothers’ Milk Bank Northeast, we believe every baby deserves a healthy start in life. And if you’re reading this post, we know you share that belief. Ready to help babies like MJ grow and thrive? There are so many ways to make a lasting difference—below are just a few of our favorites.
